


River Lets Her Walls Down

by AStreamOfHarmony



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/F, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 12:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1093872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AStreamOfHarmony/pseuds/AStreamOfHarmony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>River song is having a tough time trying to get the Doctor over the lose of the Ponds. She needs to let her walls down just this once. She needs a Doctor. But will he be there when she needs him the most? </p><p>The Doctor wasn't there, so there was no longer any need to hide the damage. She slid down the door and pulled her knees to her face. She needed a good cry, to just let it all out, just this once. She, River Song, wanted to be stop being strong for everyone else. She hugged her knees, nestling her face into her hands. </p><p>Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and objects expressed in this fiction, all rights go to Steven Moffat, the BBC, Doctor Who and other Doctor Who writers.<br/>I do own: Nurse James, Nurse Lendon, Mr Wentoki and Grominen Flaster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tears

**Author's Note:**

> So here is a Doctor Who fanfiction!  
> WARNING Some parts of this story may be considered RATED M for VIOLENCE. You have been warned.  
> ENJOY!

**Please comment and give me feed back!**

**Enjoy!**

The curly haired women sprinted down the drive, tears pooling at the edges of her sorrow filled eyes. She hid her face in her mane of golden curls, not wanting anyone to know how she felt on the inside. She shoved the key into the lock, forcefully, and dove into her apartment. Slamming the door behind her she revealed her face, grief stricken. Hot tears were flooding her eyes and pouring down her cheeks.  
The Doctor wasn't there, so there was no longer any need to hide the damage. She slid down the door and pulled her knees to her face. She needed a good cry, to just let it all out, just this once. She, River Song, wanted to be stop being strong for everyone else. She hugged her knees, nestling her face into her hands.  
She wished someone would come and comfort her after such a beastly experience. She hadn't been able to let her walls down for a week, in fear that the Doctor would see her.  
She had spent a two weeks trying to help him get over this lose. Even though she was only trying to help him, he threw harsh comments towards her, ignored her, he even cut her skin at one point.  
She looked down at her wrist where he had left an imprint in her skin. The flesh was bright red and the cut was deep. She remembered what he had said as he dug his finger nails into her flesh.

_River knelt next to the Doctor in a random room in the TARDIS. She placed her hands over his in a form of comfort. He didn't look up, clearly he was ignoring her._  
 _"Doctor…" She started. She hated seeing him this way, it broke her heart. The Doctor did not reply. River reached her hand out and cupped his face. She tried to tip his face up, so that his eyes would meet her own, but he fought to keep his head down._  
 _"Please…Doctor, you…y-you can't go on like this" River said trying to sound confident though worry made its way into her voice._  
 _"What do you know? Hmmm? Your parents don't even love you! I heard them talking. You know what Amy said? She said "I wish River Song or Melody Pond (What ever you want to call that idiot) was never born! She's ruined my life!" And Rory agreed!" The Doctor yelled ice lacing his voice. River trembled, looking at him hurt reflecting in her eyes. She shuffled back slightly waiting to see if he had anything else to say. He did…_  
 _"You deserved all you got with the Silence and Madame Kovarian! I don't know why anyone would even want to look at you! I am sick of pretending to love you, River Song" These words hit her as if she'd just walked into a brick wall. Now he look her straight in the eye, ice flowing from his deep, agonising eyes. He gripped her wrist, digging his finger nails deeply into her flesh. River groaned as crimson liquid oozed from her skin, staining the Doctors sleeve._  
 _"I have never loved you. I only pretended for the Pond's sakes. Now that they're all gone, theres no need to hide it any more. River you have to stop hiding yourself from the truth! Nobody has ever loved you, and nobody ever will! Your a thick-headed rat, and I have known that from the day I met you when you died!" The Doctor snarled a cold grin plastered to his face. River held in her tears, knowing they would only make it worse. She held an apathetic expression on her face trying to keep her strong wall up. The bitter truth set a wave of crystal ice to her heart. Ice cubes danced around threatening to insert themselves into to her heart forever. Thats when River left. She could take no more._

New tears spilled out of her tired, red eyes. Slowly River got up and staggered to her bedroom. The crying was exhausting her. She slipped under her TARDIS blue covers, not even bothering to change into her pyjamas. Memories of her recent encounter drowned her thoughts. The pillow below her had a small wet patch from her tears. River would do anything to change these memories into a silly little dream. But the stench of reality floated its way into the room. That could never be an option.  
That night with out realising, she managed to fall into a deep slumber, her eyes still damp from crying.

Nightmares haunted her dreams. She tried to wake up and escape the dreams but something held her in them with no means of retreat. Images flashed through her mind; killing the Doctor, then the Doctor refusing to marry her (How that had hurt), the Silence, Madame Kovarian (that evil laugh had always terrified her, though she would never admit it), her parents jumping of a building (She had to hide the damage), the Doctor not trusting her, the Doctor and her parents leaving her with the Sisters of the Infinite Schism hospital (Alone, afraid and confused) and finally the Doctor telling her he did not love her and he never had. That had torn her heart out in one swift movement.  
Suddenly River was _swept into a nightmare she had been avoiding her whole life;_

_She was strapped to a experimental table with no possibility to escape. River looked down to see that her stomach was bulging before her. The shock of a sudden unknown pregnancy sent a churning sensation deep inside her. She her a voice that she did not recognise followed by one that she did._  
 _"Do ya think she's ready? I mean it's only been a few hours, do ya think she'll survive it?" The unclear voice asked in a rush for answers._  
 _"Woah, slow down! Yes she is most certainly ready for this. Though I don't really care if she dies!" Rory's voices laughed mockingly. River realised that the two people talking were her parents._  
 _"Oh look, I think she's ready to pop!" The voice of Madame Kovarian said just before River let out a scream. Her abdomen was on fire, she struggled to comfort her pain though thick straps held her down. A doctor walked up to her a large syringe in his hands, he wore a blue mask over his mouth and a blue hat over his hair. He let out a chuckle before revealing who he was, it was the Doctor. Her Doctor. He laughed at the horrified look on her face._  
 _"Hello sweetie! How's the pregnancy?" The Doctor mocked shoving the syringe into her arm, the liquid slowly making its way into her body._  
 _"Doctor?," River whimpered, "W-when did I become……pregnant?"_  
 _"About…hmm…maybe two hours ago…" The Doctor estimated._  
 _"Two hours? But how?" River asked quivering. She was still struggling, tugging at the straps._  
 _"We implanted it into you, then we sped up the process. We need this child, to give to Madame Kovarian. Oh, the pain you and your child are gonna receive." The Doctor chuckled, looking at the scanner beside the table._  
 _"Amy! Look at this! Her heart's slowing down! Looks like she is going to die!" Rory said laughing like a maniac. Amy looked at the scanner and began to smile._  
 _"Thats great!" Amy cheered walking over to River._  
 _She glared down at River a harsh look to her eyes. "You deserve this, for taking away my baby!" Amy shouted slapping River across the cheek._  
 _"Ow! I didn't take your daughter, I am your daughter. Please, Amy" River said pain striking her stomach._  
 _"Doctor! Doctor…Doctor…help me…I'm in so much pain!" River called as her abdominal pain accelerated._  
 _"But I want you in pain, this is what you earned. Pain! River, pain!" The Doctor yelled pulling out a knife. He began to plunge it toward her. River felt an acute pain, the the tip on the knife dented her skin. It appeared to cut easily, though the Doctor pushed slowly as if trying to make it more painful._

_River shrieked no only from the physical pain but also from the emotional pain. The knowledge that the Doctor didn't love her was biting her hearts. She couldn't stand it, thats when everything turn to black._


	2. Danger? Pregnancy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> River song is having a tough time trying to get the Doctor over the lose of the Ponds. She needs to let her walls down just this once. She needs a Doctor. But will he be there when she needs him the most?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DOCTOR WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
> 
> WARNING some of the writing expressed in the fic may be considered RATED M for VIOLENCE

The Doctor slumped in the TARDIS chair. He dearly missed his beautiful wife. He wanted to apologise about all that had happened the last few days. The way he had treated her made him feel sick inside. He knew if he wanted he could go and see her straight away. But what would he say? He felt so _guilty_. How would he fix this? She had no reason to accept his apology (though in truth he knew she would), she deserved so much better than this. His wife was always taking care of him, hiding the damage from him so that he didn't feel bad. In a way, many ways, he wished she wouldn't do that. He wanted to look after her for once. That's one of the many problems that kept them apart. She held a thick wall up to hold back all her emotions, she refused to let him see how she felt. He wanted to help, but he couldn't.

The Doctor felt a large _thump_ as the TARDIS decided to land. "Landing already, old girl? Or should I call you sexy now? Hmm…anyway. Where are we this time?" The Doctor asked dancing around the console until he found the scanner. They were in an Earth apartment in Bristol. "Why, on the moon of Walflesters, are we here?" The Doctor asked slowly edging towards the doors. The   
TARDIS groaned just as a scream came from outside her beautiful console. The Doctor nodded his head in approval before running out the doors to find out what was going on.

He was in a small living room like area. Another scream arose from upstairs. The Doctor sprinted up the stairs two at a time. When he made it around a corner he was faced with a TARDIS blue door. Gently he swung it open, revealing a cosy bedroom. Sprawled across the bed lay River Song, his wife. She let out another scream desperately clinging to the duvet that was slowly sliding off the edge of the bed. The Doctor ran over to her.   
"It's okay River. I'm here now. It's only a dream, just wake up. Come on I know you can do it!" The Doctor encouraged giving her a little shake. That's when he noticed, her eyes were soaked and red from crying. She began to softly call for him.  
"Doctor…Doctor…please…don't do this to me……I'm in so much pain."  
"I know, but you have to wake up!" The Doctor shaking River.  
She groaned turning over in her sleep. She shrieked shoving her hands onto her stomach.   
Is she pregnant? But how? I mean……I know how but…when?   
Well, she certainly can't go on like this, the Doctor concluded. He carefully scooped her into his arms and slowly carried her out of the room. The TARDIS moaned as they entered, her child was ill and she could sense it. The Doctor carried River into the TARDIS corridor before reaching a room with a red cross on it. He nudged the door with his shoulder, and it swung open. He gently placed River into a medical cot, before rushing over to some advanced looking medical equipment. He pulled a scanner over her fragile body. The scanner dinged, as it showed the analysis of her condition.

_Names: Melody Pond, River Song, Melody Malone, the child of the TARDIS, the women who killed the Doctor._

_Species: Human/Timelord._

_Pregnancy: positive/negative/dead/alive_

_Fatal injuries: 1_

_Physical injuries: 24_

_Emotional injuries: 32_

_Danger: high_

_State: sleeping_

_Enemies: 10,000_

_Needs: serious medical attention. Emotional trauma prevents consciousness. In serious danger. Pregnancy difficulties; unknown._

"She's in danger and pregnant? Difficulties? Hmm? Well I need to get her to the Sisters of the Infinite Schism, greatest hospital the universe has ever and will ever know! Just wait here, River, your going to be okay, I just have to get us to the schism. You stay here and be good, I…um…I love you…" the Doctor said planting a quick kiss on her forehead before rushing out to the control room.


End file.
